I'm not exactly proud of it, but I've started smoking a few cigarettes a day. My isolating was getting so bad, I needed an excuse to be around people, and I was always a social smoker. It has helped me get outside, and around people. One thing I didn't count on was we've been using it to cope, too. I just had one of my unbearable moments, and I knew I needed to get out of my head, so I had a smoke. So, it went from unbearable to bad, but it did help. My lungs are protesting, though. And, last night, when I couldn't sleep, I had two cigarettes.
I'm hoping it stays at a couple a day. I like:
-having extra money
-being able to breathe
-not being anxious all the time
[edit: It has helped a tad. Maybe to put a goal on it. When I get comfortable being with people again, I quit.]
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