I'm thinking about changing facilities. I guess the real test is tomorrow, and if I make a phone call or not. I am tired of being depressed and feeling defeated. And, as much as I want other people to do it for me, they're not going to. I am so sick of myself. I said I hated addiction. There's a part of me that doesn't. Well, duh. I'm probably being negligent not finding out who that part is and working with them. Honestly, I don't feel I'm in a safe environment for parts work. I know Jason feels that way. And so we come back around to the issue of moving. There are gigantic thought loops in my brain. And, then I just want to numb out. ACK! I want a smurf hat!
[ edit: Well, I am not moving. The thought of living closer to my mother made me feel worse. ]
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