No muscle relaxers

It's been a week or so without muscle relaxers. I really hate it. I'm wishing for numbing all the time. I really don't care with what. I can't even re-focus. Or I think I can't. With a felony, my options are limited. I had neurological limits before this. So, I feel as if I have no options. Or, maybe I just have the wrong attitude. But, the professionals I work with are not helping me think outside the box. So, I'm just left to circle the drain. I do feel like I'm just existing until I die and get it over with. I hate my life.