Tired

I want to hurt myself. Funny how my mood went from "okay" to "crushingly depressed" in 15 mins. I was reminded of how different I am from everybody, til forever. I don't want to live that way. That's no way TO live. Why can't I just die? Nobody important will miss me. I'm so so tired. I just want to be done with it. WHY DID THEY GIVE ME LIFE PUNISHMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, why can't I choose to end my life. Get the fucker over with. Why do I have to prolong this torture?!?!?!?!?!

This really isn't helping. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Asking why why why does not help, yet it's all I can do. I've told my story so many times. People just say live with it. Except I can't. I'd rather die than live with it.
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So, I just talked to someone IRL. I don't feel great, but I can hang on til tomorrow. Tomorrow is anothah day! Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.