Hrrmmm. I don't know what got me started thinking autism might be my neurological problem. But, it's been in the last 6 months. Well, a month ago, I really started researching it. It fits me so much. All the things about me that aren't "normal", in my head I compartmentalized as an alter. And, so, not me. But, I'm beginning to see it was me all along.
Am I in denial? Probably. I do know I'd rather be autistic than multiple. My parents are still narcissists, and they were still abusive. I've been reminding myself of that a lot.
My dad still could've been sexually abusive, but I really don't want to believe that. I actually have no memory of it.
So, I'm going to get a referral next week. And, then it will be more waiting.
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