We got a horrible memory Monday... Not RA, but the father was so so so violent with one of us. She had given up in mind and body. And, there are others of us who have given up that way. Our T has a way for us to learn their stories and heal them....restore them.
The rage, the sadness, the aching hurt that came up. God, it's soooooo awful!!!! Horrible, terrifying; pick a word...I don't have a word bad enough.
We wanted to hurt us so much....because we wanted to hurt HIM; and we knew we couldn't. The only person available to hurt was us. But then, one of us had the idea of using a doll to represent the dad, and we would use pins to hurt the doll -- thus, hurt the dad.
We did that tonite (June 9).
WE HURT THE DAD!!!!!!!!!
Oh, man. The sweet satisfaction of finally hurting that son of a bitch. We loved every minute of it.
If he hurt at all while we were doing it, we're not going to cry about it.
That was a few hours ago, and we're still jazzed. We've got a lot of energy.
We probably shouldn't have done it right before bed. But, we started it, left it; and we were afraid we would never finish it, so we worked on it before bed.
We're not saying at all that we recommend this to anyone. It just worked for us.
Collage - May 2010
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